How I Spent My 2020 Men’s Day in Berlin

I woke up to a lovely 21st day of May 2020. As usual, I could hear the early birds chirruping in the woods outside. Through my bedroom’s window wall, the morning sun stood cloudless in the blue skies of Berlin. My first text message read, “Happy Men’s day! Are you going to meet your friends and get drunk?” They call it “Himmelfahrt” in German. In English, it’s “Ascension Day,” a Catholic holiday that memorializes Christ’s levitation to join his Father up above. Being the heathens that we all are, the German men use this Father’s day to bask in masculinity, which includes, feasting, binging on alcohol until your wits go numb and debauchery. Oh, how I wished I lived here ten years ago. I’ve slowed down a bit recently. 

I feel like Don Corleone, watering his plants, at the end of The Godfather Pt. 1.”

Nowadays, I spend my time examining literary supplies, as I have a few unpublished manuscripts to complete. My masculinity is a wonderful prerogative that I never take for granted. I know my power, and I grow to appreciate my strengths every day. Consequently, what did I do on that glorious day of debauchery and binge drinking? I stayed home to finish planting my flower garden. Just a few years ago, I’d have been in the center of the troublemaking. Now? I want to buy a farm with cattle and horses… I feel like Don Corleone, watering his plants, at the end of The Godfather Pt. 1. I didn’t even look in the liquor cabinet even though I was tempted to pop open a bottle of bubbly and turn on the fireplace.

After gardening all afternoon, I kicked back to an evening feast of baked salmon with vegetables. Still following my dietician’s order – no carbs, colorful veggies with meat or fish. The goal is to slowly develop a more salubrious eating habit, which is expected to result in weight loss and fitness. However, if this experiment works, it will completely revolutionize my upcoming cookbook from being merely a list of photographs and recipes to an actual guide to gaining good health by eating nutritiously. That might be a go-to cookbook for single men who wish to master their feeding habits. In Europe, they believe one can lose weight by simply adjusting to a healthier diet and eating the appropriate portion of food.

It’s like the only thing holding me back from really taking off are certain decisions and commitments I made in the past!”

If so, even the most obese person returns to their appropriate weight. That’s the experiment. Years ago, while getting my Toronto on, which I still do (I rep Canada hard in these parts… but yeah), I joined the Ontario Rotary Club and did some work with the Toronto Rib Fest. There I recorded a song called, “And Then They’ll Grow.” The initiative was to “end child hunger nutritiously.” Eating the freshest vegetables and meat. Later, I embarked on writing a cookbook, which I dubbed, “Boy’s Cooking.” Yep, it’s a shot in the dark. That book is meant to help single men to avoid growing a pot belly (as I almost did), while learning how to choose and cook the healthiest meals possible. All women will enjoy that cookbook just as well. 

It’s interesting how the recent events of my life appear to lead down the road where such an undertaking will be an authentic experience. I get to experiment with the help of a skilled dietician and then write a cookbook revealing the results. When I was in my teens, all I wanted was to live in the city. God really has a sense of humor. After living in several cities, He gave me the best life that I couldn’t possibly dream of. It came complete with the beige carpet, beige sectional couch, beige furniture, beige curtains, and even beige window walls I envisioned. It’s like the only thing holding me back from really taking off are certain decisions and commitments I made in the past. Happy belated Men’s Day to you all!*

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